Dad, can I be honest and tell you that I am struggling to feel your presence this morning?  I have read my Bible.  I have prayed.  I have watched podcasts.  I have sought and listened to Billy Graham vids.  I just feel empty.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28 (NIV).  

Father in Heaven, thank you that you assure me that my emptiness is okay.  Thank you that you empty me only to fill me again with renewed focus, purpose, energy, commitment, value.  Thank you for confirming in the emptiness how you value me.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified  because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake  you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

This week has been so good and so trying.  I have tried.  I have tried to encourage the many men that you have allowed me to sit with and share and listen and love.  Thank you for the truth that I receive so much more that I can ever give.  Thank you for removing the burden of exceptionalism in me by revealing your immeasurable love for me.  Exactly as I am.

Dad, the battle continues and empties me.  Yet, you refill.  You marvelously refill.  Thank you that I am okay to be tired and questioning your purposes for me.  Am I having any impact for the You?  Does it matter?  You tell me in Isaiah 43:19 “See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (NIV)

This week you gifted me with sitting across breakfast and lunch tables, meeting with men desperate for hope and men walking in courage and trust that is you, Father.  I have sat across from good men leading quiet lives, sold out to you, shepherding your flocks in bi-vocational churches scattered throughout East TN.  I have sat in a room with men so much more accomplished than me.  Yet you placed me there.  Thank you.

Lord, thank you for being my Lord.  My Father.  Thank you for patiently growing such an imperfect man with so many limitations.  I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I do know that you are already there, preparing a way.  ‘Use me,’ I ask.

Father in Heaven, you are so much more than enough.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”  Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)