A few months ago I publicly wrote and announced that I was no longer hiding or avoiding Satan and his minions.  I arrogantly wrote that I was declaring war on him and his evil.  I naively shared that I was ready.  I wasn’t and I am not.

“If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.”  Psalm 139:11–12 (ESV)

The Bible teaches us about three types of peace.  Peace with God, peace of God and peace with others.  

I find that I try to have an inverse relationship with God.  “Boldly” loving him when I am at peace with others.  Allowing his peace to wash over me when my life is devoid of conflict, anger, anxiety, doubt, stress, all the things that define me as his broken yet supernaturally forgiven son.  

I find that I conditionally allow and welcome the peace of God when my stars align.  ‘When peace like a river attended my way, it is well with my soul.’  I am finding that I am still yet a vulnerable soul, ripe for the picking of sin because of a faith too arrogantly professed and too shallowly planted.  Too meekly lived.

I find that my relationship with God is peaceful when the waters are calm.  When the storms have passed.  When God has met my expectations of quality of life.  My expectations!  If you ask me how my life has gone when I pursue my expectations, the truthful answer is a train wreck of emotional sewage spewed out in vile ways.  Ways where I defile my body and soul where I have invited my Savior and Holy Spirit to reside.  My expectations manifest themselves in anger, fear, frustration, an inwardly focused heart designed to be the outpouring presence of the grace and mercy that has been afforded me at a horrid cost.  The death of the only hope for all, Who thankfully arose as the light of eternity that I have been invited and have accepted to live and walk with and allow in.

My Dad in Heaven, encourages me to keep trying.  To take another step.  To learn the art and life protecting step of forgiveness.  To be a better man than before storms of life mercilessly kick and have kicked my rear end.  My Dad reminds me to reject Satan’s desire that I focus on the few ugly moments of a beautiful life.  My Dad reminds me that it is okay to fail and not accept the definition that I am a failure.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22–23 (ESV)

So I choose to cherish the peace that the good God offers me.  I choose to take steps to be at peace with God by recognizing that he truly is the only source in my life that wants only peace for me.  I choose to be at peace with others, regardless of their choice as it relates to me.  I choose to just show up.  I choose to be God’s son.  I choose to stop overstepping my boundaries and abilities by surrendering the issues of life that are only overcome by surrendering them to my Father in Heaven.

Job, thank you for allowing your life to be a life guide to me.  

“I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me.  O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.  O Lord, you have brought up my soul from Sheol; you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.  Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name.  For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime.  Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.”  Psalm 30:1-5 (ESV)

I will praise you in the storm.