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Random ramblings of a simple man.
I find myself in a confused and conflicted time of my life. I am solid in my identity. I am solid in the blessings of my amazing wife and family. I am solid in these personal thoughts that I have decided to share. Beyond this, I am wandering and seeking…
Your dream is not everyone else’s.
I find it profoundly sad that most dreams go unfulfilled because of the factoring of fear.
The unknown crushes too many ideas that could change the individual’s life and even possibly, have exponential impact on humankind.
How can you lose what you never had?
Recognize that everything beyond life and health has little meaning.
A new car loses its smell within months. Its payment will stay with you long after the temporary euphoria.
Euphoria is temporary. Joy lasts a lifetime.
Joy is a choice. ‘Happiness’ is thrust upon us by emotions that deceive.
Keeping up with the Jones’s offers diminishing returns.
The hamster wheel will turn as fast as you can run and deliver you right where you started.
The miracle of Springtime blossoms is too marvelous to miss. And best case scenario, you only get 100 + or -.
Use money as a tool or it will enslave you.
A 401K is an asset. So is a shovel. One you control. The other will control you if you’re not careful.
A bigger house enables the loneliness you’re already feeling or provides a resource for outreach. Share.
“They don’t grow up so fast.” Every child that we’re blessed to raise and watch reach adulthood (by the World’s definition) is ours for 18 years, 216 months, 864 weeks (+ or -), 6,048 days, 145,152 hours and 8,709,120 seconds.
Choices we make determine how much time we spend with our kids.
Cost/benefit analysis has no greater place than our families.
Our kids remember time. They likely can’t tell you what they got as presents for Christmas but they can tell you about the time you chose them over the meeting.
A promotion at work may be at the detriment of your family and what is important. Choose wisely.
The grass is not greener on the other side. It’s just a reflection of where you are already standing.
The servant who buried their treasure because of fear was likely shocked that their Master was furious that they had not taken even a modicum of risk. (Matthew 25)
The only thing more beautiful than a newborn baby is his or her grandparents holding hands as they walk and talk.
You are enough. Just ask God. He made you for marvelous purpose.
Contentment is not surrender. It is fuel that calms the soul and reveals the beauty of color all around us.
Watching the sunrise reveals that hope never dies. And when hope fades, it renews the next day if we allow it.
Eggs are amazing. Bacon gave all.
Other than Easter and Christmas, I guess the most marvelous day is ‘New Tire Day’ for the car.
One day picking blackberries is much better than a year of therapy, if you listen.
Laughter really is the best medicine. Laugh uncontrollably and be the aggravating envy to all around you.
The man lying in the gutter has more value to God than every material thing that you own.
You matter. So does every person that crosses your life’s path.
Truth is immeasurably valuable. True friends more valuable.
Have a friend who tells you the truth. You lie to yourself enough for the both of you.
The mirror in front of you stops working when you angle it 45 degrees.
Envy is crippling. Comparison defeating.
The only thing more powerful than optimism is pessimism. (Just ask the 2.4-million Israelites who chose to believe the 10 pessimistic spies rather than the 2 optimists.)
A 40 year issue is often a 14 day walk where faith exists. (Ask the Israelites who wandered in the Wilderness because they chose fear over faith.)
Life is precious.
You are precious.
What you have to offer is precious.
There is no there before Heaven (or Hell). Only next.
Take another step.
bible, christianity, dream, envy, experience, faith, fear, friendship, god, greed, hope, jesus, joy, junk, life, love, materialistic, stuff, value -
What do you want?
It’s a powerful question that I often ask people when meeting with them. Almost every time the question is followed by silence, that at times becomes uncomfortable. The truth is many of us are going through the motions and too often, the emotions of a life without direction, goals or sadly, purpose.
The great speaker and write Zig Ziglar said “how can you hit a target you don’t have?” Seriously, how can you?
While I was attending college (as a commuter), I moved from working at a Savings & Loan (and now you know that I am old!), to selling insurance and securities. I was good at selling insurance and securities. I was praised by coworkers, my boss, my boss’s boss to the heights of the giant organization. I was so good that I won a Gold Record and qualified for a trip with the Chairman of the org. Awesome! Just one small issue. I hated selling insurance and had only approached this as a stepping stone of learning to my goal. What I wanted.
As a young kid, I loved the outdoors. No question some of my love of hunting and fishing is that is where I connected most closely with my dad. And I wanted to pursue a career in the outdoor sports industry. So, as a young man in my early twenties, a sales manager at the nation’s largest outdoor sports distributor agreed to interview me as a favor to his former boss, my friend’s dad and an early mentor to me.
I killed it in the interview. Connecting with the sales manager, talking outdoor stuff and just general life things that made it clear we were on the same page. We weren’t. The sales manager said “you will do well in this industry. You just need 10-20 years retail experience.” Wait, what? I literally said to him, “I don’t have 20 years to wait. I want to start now.” I was a little too arrogant but sincere in that statement. I told him that I would prove to him how much I wanted the job.
So began a period of absolute tenacity. I called the sales manager every Tuesday at 10:00 am, asking if a job was available? Wherever I was, whatever I was doing, I made that call. For 14 months straight. Never missed a call. The result was he and I became friends. I got to know about his wife, son and daughter. His daughter’s graduation. His father’s passing. His anniversary. He grew to know we. He became a cheerleader to the insurance salesman, congratulating me on my achievements and asking to buy insurance from me. I declined to sell him something because I told him ‘that I would be working for him soon.’ Maybe not as good a salesperson as I thought I was.
The week came that I was to be recognized and awarded the Gold Record for rookie sales in the 75 year-old region where no one had ever won the award before. The EVP of the company had flown in to present the award to me and talk with me about becoming the youngest regional manger in the history of the company. It was a Wednesday. I had made my call to the outdoor sports sales manager the day before. Still no jobs available!
As my insurance office prepared for the presentation, someone said ‘Myron, you have a call.’ I answered and it was the outdoor sports sales manager who said, “I just fired a guy who had the Northeast Ohio sales territory. It’s yours if you want it…if you promise to stop calling me every Tuesday at 10:00 am.’ I immediately answered, “I’ll take it. No promises on stopping the Tuesday call.” I proceeded to walk out, accept the award, quit my job, express my sincere appreciation and come clean that I hated selling insurance.
So, I moved to Canton, Ohio, thoroughly unprepared for the discipline of character needed to live in a new place without a proper support structure. And by the way, absolutely killing it as a territorial outdoor sales representative for my new company. Quadrupling sales in the first year. Setting records and quickly overcoming the $15K the territory had paid the year before and eclipsing the significant income I had walked away from because of what I wanted. Did I mention that the new job was 100% commission and I paid all expenses? Man, I love risks to a fault. Not quite as much now as I did 30 years ago, but still willing to take risks to achieve goals.
I want to convey that the lessons are in the journey. Unknown only becomes known if we’re willing to take a step. Risks can be mitigated by a committed desire to learn. Success comes from the recognition that failure is only a step in the walk, of the trek, of the journey, that leads to a perpetual destination continually extending beyond “here.” There is no ‘here,’ only next. It’s the experiences that are where value and contentment are found.
In two years I had taken the 178th performing territory out of 178 territories to the 2nd performing territory. And would have been number 1 had I not learned to love golf and carousing. (Another story.). The sales manager asked me, what’s it like to achieve what you want? I said, “I’ll let you know.” And then explained that I wanted his job within 2 years, to handle merchandising in 5 years, to be a VP in 10 years and a President within 15 years. BAG baby! Big, Audacious, Goals! I achieved them all in 7 years and was miserable beyond understanding.
What did I want? What I achieved almost caused me to end my life. ‘What did I want’ came walking up to me as I was drunk in the VIP section of a bar in Akron, Ohio and was exactly what I had told myself that I did not want. God knew that she was exactly what I needed.
Ask me to today what I want and the answers are very, very different. But the want is still there, coupled with a better understanding that the best ‘wants’ are delivered by helping meet needs.
I will forever cherish those 56 calls at 10:00 am on Tuesday mornings. They were the reminder that what I wanted was worth the effort. They were the catalyst to a career that has rewarded, shaken, changed and humbled me. They were the 56 steps that began a journey of life experience that I would not change for anything.
There’s more to this story that is the basis of what I want right now. More to come.
What do you want? Let’s find it.
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“Your mother will be alright.”
I don’t know why I feel compelled to write this today but I do. I sense there is someone in my small sphere of connection who needs to hear the affirming words that ‘someone they love will be alright.’
You see, I was 36 years old and at the professional pinnacle that I had pursued at the sacrifice of all that mattered, standing beside the bed of my mother begging God to heal her as she lay dying. My rock. My comfort. My source of unconditional love. My first and lifetime love lay dying. My mother, my sister’s mother, my father’s wife, my aunt’s best friend, the “singing bus driver” who lovingly drove the children of Centerville City Schools for decades lay in front of me. And there I stood, her little boy wrapped in the veil of a “successful man,” who was actually just her little boy. Insecure and wracked with doubt, guilt, addiction and systematic failure in all that mattered.
As I prayed and petitioned the God of all Creation that I had been running from for 20 years, I knew He would answer my prayers. I knew that the benevolent God would heal my mother. I knew that my negotiation skills honed over years of working significant and meaningless deals would work as I stood beside the bed of the one who mattered to me more than anything in this World. Who, by the way loved me despite, not because.
So that night as I stood beside my mom’s bed and begged for her to be healed, a voice audibly said to me “your mother will be alright”. Yes. Mom is going to be alright. Yes, God. Thank you. Yes, God. I knew you would hear my plea, accept my offer of living a better life. Yes, God, I knew my bartering skills honed over years of disingenuous love and calculated care would rescue my mother. My, my, my. How sad.
A few days later, my mother was miraculously ‘alright.’ She was in Heaven. She was the best, the greatest, the happiest, the freest, wrapped in inconceivable love, joy, celebration, welcome and connection that she had or would ever, forever be. She was home. At 61 years of age, she was all right. She was greeted with “well done good and faithful servant,” (Matthew 25:23) and wrapped in the loving arms of her Father and holding the hands of Jesus, while feeling the scars on his beautiful hands that bore the remnants of those holes created by the nails that held him to that horridly beautiful cross. For the first time she was all right. I had prayed for the wrong alright and God had blessed her with the perfect all right.
I was so angry at God for taking my mom. My emotional maturity, or lack thereof, was exposed. My conditional faith laid bare as no faith at all. Anger swept over me. Bitterness invaded my life in ways that I had never surrendered to before. I had been double crossed by the very God who makes all things new. (Revelation 21:5). ‘God, the God, benevolent God, you double crossed me;’ I thought as I walked in misery, loneliness, abandonment. Ironically and assuredly, I was not walking alone. The Rescuer of my mother, was walking alongside me. Yea though I waked through the deepest of valleys…He was with me. (Psalm 23)
Then on that profoundly sad Thursday evening as I sat in my empty house, abandoned by all that I had in fact driven out, i intended to leave this World through self inflicted death. The fact is this death walk had begun decades earlier, culminating in this moment. I yelled out in anger, “God, if this is all there is, I want out.” And those life saving words came. “Son, this is not the plan that I have for your life.” This from the same Voice who had told me that my mother would be alright. As always, his words were truth. His words were steadfast. His non-negotiable covenant with me saved me. The same voice who entered into covenant with the Israelites as they entered the Promised Land, spoke to me.
Can I share with you the incredible joy that came 5 years after my mother died when I understood that my plea for her to be alright was answered with eternal all right. The bitterness of losing her was surrendered to the beautiful recognition that she was eternally all right. That my request for her to be temporarily alright was answered by the omnipotent Creator with the gift of her eternal all right. All was right for my mother. Her son is walking toward all right and the seeds she sewed through a life well lived and a son so well loved by her example, continues in the generations that follow. (Deuteronomy 7:9)
I will leave this with this thought. God, who cannot be measured, calculated, fully understood or limited, can be trusted. That faith in Him is the eternal assurance that allows all things to be reconciled. That right now whatever you are going through, has a purpose so much greater that you can possibly see or understand. He will reveal the perfect reasons for his moment in the season to come. That you are okay to find joy and optimism in the face of uncertainty and even crushing burden. Oh how He loves you. He knows your heart and He knows your capacity for impact. He holds you in the storm and He frees you when you trust. My prayer for you is this: Through the tears of this season, look at the horizon with anticipation of what He has beautifully planned for you. These moments of difficulty are the fuel that will propel you into ‘what he has planned for you.’ Prepare. The bridegroom is coming for you. (Matthew 25).
You matter and you are needed. Trust.
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Stop Horsing Around!
Ask me how to use $425 to make $7-million become $28-million.
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8 (NLT)
In those early days of being appointed to develop and lead the sales side of the small sporting goods company, I realized that this would be a 360-degree type of position. If we were going to develop into a sales oriented organization, we had to change the fundamental way we approached the market. The company had been methodically built by advertising products in a newspaper type of industry monthly. Taking incoming calls from individuals licensed to buy our products. These individual buyers were being phased out by increasing government regulation. Our core revenue source was at risk. The larger market did not know us and did not take us seriously. For good reason.
– Identifying what needs to be done is the first step. Doing what needs to be done begins to separate you from the pack. Doing without being told is the catalyst to leadership.
My boss, the president of the company at that time, came from a buying background and had minimal sales experience. Compared to my extensive 3 years of sale experience. (Insert going into work without tools here.) There was a magazine publication that reached our target customer base; sporting goods retailers and I asked him if I could have $425 to place a 1/4 page, black & white ad that I would create to see if we would get any response from our desired target market. After 3-4 months of asking, each time missing the deadline to place the ad, he agreed.
– If you believe in what you want to do, you will be tenacious and consistent in pursuing the objective.
So I saw a cartoon of a cowboy riding a bucking horse, holding his hand in the air as if saying something. The cartoon was designed in a way that our company logo fit perfectly under the horse’s rear-end in the image. I naively and without any intention of trademark violation, cut out that cartoon image and placed it and our logo in the defined area 3.25” x 4.25” of the ad space we had purchased. (Did I mention that I was now an advertising specialist?). I then wrote the words, “Stop horsing around.” And the copy of the ad said, “If you’re not buying from us, you’re paying too much.” Included was our non-toll free phone number because I had not been able to convince my boss that more orders would come in if we had a 1-800 number….yet!
– Rome wasn’t built in a day. But it was built.
After a graphics designer laid the ad out to meet the magazine’s standards, we waited. Sure enough, two months later an envelope arrived on my desk, containing over 50 inquiries from retailers who had taken the time to fill out the response card in the magazine asking to be contacted by our company as a prospective supplier. My boss wasn’t happy! “How are you going to have time to call all of these inquirers, while still unloading trucks, helping pack orders and cleaning up at the end of the day?,” he asked. He also was not happy that we would be incurring significantly higher phone bills because of all of the outgoing calls I would be making. He was a very farsighted guy! I committed to come in early (we opened at 8:00 am), stay late (we closed at 5:00) and cut short my lunch to make the calls. He grudgingly acquiesced.
– Where there’s a willingness powered by commitment and tenacity, there is a way.
As I made those calls early in the morning, I quickly learned that the best store owners worked early and could typically by reached before 8:00 am Eastern Time and Mountain/Pacific time retailers could be best reached at the 12:00 ET slot. Let the calls begin. This was a time period where there was no Internet, no email, no texting. Sending and accepting faxes was still somewhat in its infancy and was not an allowed way to send legal docs. The setup of new customers was slow. Relationship was key.
– Anything worthwhile is worth the effort. Relationships built to last require investment of time, energy and genuine interest.
As I made my way through those initial ad inquiries, I came to the S’s. A Terry A. from a company in Atlanta called ‘Sportstown’ had inquired. When I called, he answered and his first comment was life changing for our little company: “I can’t believe you called me,” Terry said. He had been submitting these inquiries for months to every advertiser in the magazine and our company was the first to respond. I learned that Terry was the Buyer at Sportstown for our category of products. I learned that Sportstown had grown from 7 stores to 17 stores in the last year and had outgrown their existing suppliers. I learned that they planned to open another 15 stores in the coming 13 months (private equity is awesome and/or selling your soul to the devil). I learned that Terry needed help. Our little horse ad was his Calvary coming to save the day.
– You can learn a lot about people and companies if you ask and are willing to listen. Committing to solving their problem versus slotting them into your model separates you from the pack.
Terry said, “I would like to give your company a try. I’ll have our new vendor group send all of our documents.” I then learned that they purchased using Net 30 Day payment terms and he thought a $1-million dollar credit line would suffice to start. Our company’s terms were COD, cash on delivery, and our really good customers could write a check versus literally paying in cash. Seriously!
– If you’re chasing giants, don’t bring a mouse trap. Houston, we have an opportunity.
Imagine my boss’s response when I said we have a prospective customer who wants a million-dollar credit line and 30-day payment terms. I won’t write what he said. I will say my work as a sales person, sales manager, advertising specialist were just beginning. And merchandising manager, marketing manager, IBM AS400 integrator, corporate real estate developer and on, all lay on the near horizon.
– You have to be very ‘stretchy’ to grow exponentially. Your commitment is often measured by your willingness to overcome pushback from within of the very thing you are tasked with doing.
One call to a buyer who held a very large checkbook changed the trajectory of our little company and of a young kid. It was indeed time to stop horsing around. We were moving up from Single-A to Triple-A and the Majors were calling.
We weren’t ready!
“He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.” Matthew 8:26 (NIV)
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Squirrels
My family gave me a squirrel-proof bird feeder that has proven to be very accommodating to the squirrels. The “protective” wire that houses the seed holder gives them a nice foothold as they devour the seeds meant for the many beautiful birds that inhabit this area. Squirrels!
There is an interesting dynamic as I observe the devouring of the ‘bird seed’ by the squirrels. There is a perpetual competition for access to the seeds in the feeder. So much so that most of the squirrels will chase one another to “protect their seeds,” most often resulting in little seeds being eaten and massive amounts of energy being expended to protect what really isn’t theirs from those equally trying to access what was not intended for them in the first place. Are you still with me.
You see the obsession is the perch at the top of the seed chain. The opportunity is getting there. The reward is being there. The challenge is staying there. The purpose? Well it is lost in all of this if the squirrel is not careful and they’ll leave more hungry than when they arrived.
Do you know why most people say they do not set goals? Because they are afraid of failing and not achieving them. If it helps, I guarantee you a 100% success rate in not achieving the goals that you do not set. Fear really is crippling. And the decision to not risk, to not stretch, to not dream, to not try is profoundly sad. I seldom if ever see a squirrel come and look at the bird feeder and its treasure, then turn around and leave. I watch with a mixture of half admiration, half laughter, half disdain and half anger as these enemies of the seed execute their planned takeover of the feeder. Okay, so fractions are not my strong suit. A real ‘half and half-not’ scenario.
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Wayne Gretzky
So as I watch the squirrels work to achieve access to the feeder and access is almost always short lived. They work like dogs (or squirrels) to remove the squirrel presiding at the feeder prior to their arrival. They do this primarily by playing off the greed factor of the resident squirrel, whose desire to protect and not share what is abundantly available. Seeds. The selfish desire overrides the reason for going to the feeder in the first place. Life sustaining food. Many to most times, the squirrels desiring to unseat the ‘king of the feeder’ squirrel will work in tandem to draw the king away. Invariably, while the king chases away a challenger, a new ‘king’ assumes the throne of the feeder…again, capable of feeding all of them if they would do one thing; share the bounty that is available. So the new king has arrived. Don’t unpack your bags. Or seeds in this case. The stay is never very long.
Next is the hamster-wheel of the bird feeder. The new king-of-the-feeder enjoys her or his newly achieved position and abundance for exactly, well approximately 30 seconds to a few minutes. Never as long as the identification, preparation, plan, execution and ascension to the feeder. I cannot remember a time when I watch the new king take a moment, look around and enjoy the fruits (or seeds) of their labor. The challengers are coming. A plan for removal and replacement is being hatched. Squirrels don’t abdicate the throne of the feeder. Greed and ego causes them to lose their position because of obsession to protect what was not theirs to begin with. They’re squirrely! And so they forget and react out of instinct instead of analyze and respond out of recognition. Good thing we humans are not like this!
So the purpose for the execution of the plan, the ascension because of the purpose and the realization of the purpose are surrendered by this thing called pride. The king squirrel is proud and protective of the bounty of seeds too significant and appealing to be ignored by those desiring the same treasure. The purpose, food and fulfillment, lost on the king as challengers seek to achieve the same purpose as those who have come before them. You see, the purpose often takes a back seat to the noise, confusion, challenge and pride that confuses what is being pursued and certainly the ‘why.’
Did I mention the contented squirrel and birds? Decades of experience and observation have caused me to see opportunity exists in the chaos happening around us. While the war for the feeder and seeds rages, there are usually several older squirrels (you can tell because they’re a little more plum in the rump) and many birds peacefully eating the massive amounts of seed falling to the ground, caused by the chaos happening above. The life metaphor here: “You don’t have to participate in the chaos raging around you to live a full and peaceful life.”
One last observation. I always watch squirrels in the woods behind our house and beyond the bird feeder, systematically retrieving nuts from the trees or on the ground after they have fallen and squirreling them away for the season that is coming. These squirrels operate in such peace and purpose, laser focused on the task at hand and using their God given abilities to live the life they were created for. Never chasing. Always methodical. Content. Peaceful. Productive.
Hmm, peace through purpose, free of greed and envy. Interesting concept.
“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13 ESV. (Written by a man in chains. Unjustly jailed. Freely forgiven at a horrible price, paid by Jesus on that cross.)
Let’s go.
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Be careful. You might get what you ask for.
“I Have a Dream, a song to sing
To help me cope, with anything
If you see the wonder, of a fairy tale
You can take the future, even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I’ll cross the stream, I Have a Dream”
The Swedish group ABBA released this song in 1979 and it quickly became a Worldwide hit. The lyrics are quite simple and the message of hope and expectation, true and clear. For people in business and especially entrepreneurs, dreams are classified as goals and goals defined as projections for the investors and banks who fund those “dreams.”
When I was hired for my first management job, I was a voracious reader. I was determined to develop a competitive advantage through reading. My process was reading a book a month, with a four month rotation. A business book. A novel. A historical book (heavily Civil War). And a self development book. I was committed to this for 16 years and the benefits were exponential. Sadly, I missed the crucial reading that would have blended all of this concisely and revealed to purpose in all of these efforts. The Bible. Another story.
One area that I learned and integrated into my personal development was goal setting. As a young, 25 year old manager with zero experience and even less training, I crafted my first professional goals. These goals were: Be promoted to Merchandising Manager by age 30; Vice-President by 35 and President of a company by 40. ‘Linear thinking’ was the phrase often used and my thinking was very linear and laser focused before that term existed. (I’m so old that lasers were what Star Trek caused us to dream about at that time.)
Life Lesson #1 – develop 360-degree goals that develop a well-rounded life approach.
So off I went in pursuit of the goals that I had set for myself. Key word, myself. I was methodical and committed to the achievement of these goals. My suggestion here is be learning the requirements of the ‘next’ of your personal goals so that when you achieve that level in the process, you are ready to effectively execute. I was ‘promoted’ to Merchandising Manager at 27 and made Vice President at 29, off the backs and stress of too many great people deserving a better leader. Actually, they were just deserving of a leader who understood servanthood. At age 33, I was again promoted to President & CEO with a 25% equity ownership. And I was in the process of failing miserably.
Life Lesson #2 – “You can get everything in life that you want, if you help enough other people get what they want.” (Zig Ziglar)
So this little company that had taken a huge risk on a young and ill-prepared kid was flourishing. We had grown from $7-million in sales to over $50-million and the upward trend showed no signs of slowing.
I had set and was achieving professional goals that seemed the pathway to happiness. I wish someone was in the path willing to tell me that happiness is fleeting and ‘stuff’ becomes junk very quickly. One man’s treasure…. There were many wonderful people telling me this. I wasn’t listening. A wise mentor told me that “you’re fine until you start believing your own press.” He was right. I had decided that the successes and achievements of short-sighted, linear goals were the result of me, failing to understand that it is always ‘we!’
Life Lesson #3 – Drucker was right. “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.”
Peter Drucker argued that the organization’s greatest asset is its knowledge base. It’s people. He petitioned that employees should be listed on the Asset side of a balance sheet, versus the standard accounting practice of listing them on the Liability side. My view was that the people working so hard with me were rungs in the ladder that I was climbing. And as we all know, those rungs are stepped on as leverage during the ascent.
Life Lesson #4 – What goes up without firm foundation will come down.
Six months into my promotion to President & CEO, the company had turned around. During a hiatus that I took because of a temper tantrum of a young man who had listened way too much to his own press, the company had fallen on hard times. Losing 50% of its sales volume and even more of its profitability. During those first 6 months, all sales and profitability losses were erased and we were posting solid month-over-month gains.
Then the chairman showed up. I was psyched for the accolades I knew were coming of a job well done. “I wondered how much my bonus would be at year end?” He walked into my office, closed the door, looked at the Balance Sheet, Income Statement, Projections and said, “you are failing miserably.” And he was right!
Life Lesson #5 – Promotions to leadership are the entrusting of the dreams to you of those traveling with you.
I barely knew the names of many of my employees. I knew even less about their personal lives. As they caused the company to achieve its purposes, they did so despite me, not because of me. They questioned ‘why’ because they were not experiencing the fruit of their labors. Morale was very low and commitment even lower. This was about to change.
Life Lesson #6 – Failure is having the courage to try. Change is the commitment to succeed.
I learned a new question to ask. “Tell me about your dreams and how I can help you achieve them?” And I meant it.
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:11-13 (NIV)
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“The most stupid thing that I have ever read!”
When I was 25 years old, I was hired as the National Sales Manager for a small outdoor sports company…that had no sales people. “Big gun, no ammo.”
The first thing that I was tasked with was to present a sales and marketing development plan. Both things that I had never done before. I was to present this to the board of this company, who also happened to be the owners. These men ranged in age from 30 to 60 and the chairman was legendary in this market space.
So I dove in with energy, researching how certain small companies achieving great success in their space motivated and compensated their people. I read Harvey Mackay’s book, ‘Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive,’ and attacked this project with energy and caution to deliver what was expected. Did I mention this was 1989 and the thing called the Internet did not exist and computers in their infancy. So I researched, wrote my presentation, hired (at my expense) a graphic designer to put my thoughts into a professional looking presentation of 26 pages. I paid to have each presentation spiral bound and was ready to go.
‘P-Day’ (Presentation Day) arrived and I was nervous, but ready. We were seated around a large table in the Chairman’s summer home located in Lac du Flambeau, WI and I was allotted one hour to present my thoughts. As I began my presentation, I was aggravated to see that most of the board members were scanning ahead. So I began and made it through exactly 10% of the presentation (3 pages), when the Chairman loudly slammed the presentation shut and declared, “this is the most stupid thing that I have ever read!” Ever. Really? He then went on a 45 minute viral rant about me, my role and the company’s need! I was devastated. I knew that I was certainly terminated before I got started and in truth, just wanted to get on a plane and fly home.
As quickly as he was verbally eviscerating me, the Chairman looked at his watch and said, ‘oh gentlemen, we have a dinner reservation to get to.’ And off we went to dinner, with normal conversation and pleasantries. I was a scalded dog! At dinner I decided to sit at the other end of the table, ‘knowing’ the Chairman did not want anything to do with me and feeling very much the same way about him. Then he called out and said, “Myron, come sit next to me.” Sheesh, really? I can’t even relax at dinner and lick my wounds.
As I sat beside him and table conversation began amongst these men that I reported to, the Chairman reached over and placed his hand on my arm and called me close. He then said, “I hired you because of your talent that I see in you and the abilities that I know are in you. My job is to help you see and believe what is there.” He then went on, “Your job is to never, ever tell me what you think I want to hear but what I need to hear.” Cue the tears here. Real men do cry by the way!
In 15 seconds, this man that I knew of through legend and common professional associates, affirmed everything that I had heard about him. Tough. Hyper intelligent. Demanding. Expecting. Blunt. (I think the term ‘blunt force trauma’ may have originated with his evaluation style.). Kind. Encouraging. Developing. Educating. Empowering. Entrusting. Leading from the only place that matters, the front, born of decades of failing and incredible professional success. In 15 seconds he set the professional trajectory of a young man who never again told him anything but what he needed to hear. (Eight years later and many, many screw-ups later, he would assign me the position of president and partner in this business.)
I plan to write much more about my professional experiences and the lasting impact of this seasoned man who saw something in me that I had yet to discover.
The lesson here was and is, you are capable. Energy and effort do not equal success, but are highly prized and always recognized by those leading you. Everyone does not get an award, but success is there for anyone willing to pursue it. Failing where best effort was expended, is success waiting in the future. Hard critiques mean you are capable of so much more. Words of encouragement are exponentially life changing.
“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.” Marcus Aurelius
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What I love about grapefruit.
My daughters and I love grapefruit. We like the large ones with pink centers. We love the citrusy taste offset by the sweetness of a little sugar (Stevia for me the diabetic). We love them cold from the refrigerator. The exhilaration of the sensory blend of smell, taste and temperature delivers something very satisfying…and they’re good for you too.
We can have the most beautiful grapefruits sitting in our refrigerator calling out to be enjoyed and they will rot there unless I prepare them for our daughters. I have spoiled them over the course of their lives by slicing that fruit in half, carefully cutting each triangular piece down the sides and along rind. Then sprinkling sugar over the prepared pieces, allowing them to be easily spooned out and enjoyed with little to no effort.
I love watching Malia & Kensley enjoy the ‘fruit’ of my labor. If you ask them why they love grapefruit, they will tell you they love the flavor and that I prepare them ‘just right.’ Ask me what I love about grapefruit, I will tell you that I love the flavor and the joy that results from the preparation. We have a symbiotic relationship. The girls want the result of my labor of love and I love their joy and response.
I am beginning a process to deliver an online talk and then I believe I am being led to deliver talks where invited about life, experience, success, failure, goals, hope, joy, faith and so much more. Talks that are the result of 30+ years of preparation. Talks that are the result of many, many roads travelled. Roads filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Talks from the perspective of a very limited person, allowed to have done and do unlimited things by my Creator. The amazing thing is the “launching” talk will be 10-15 minutes in length, developed by a professional team gifted in aggregating a message honed from 30 years experience, take 6-9 months to create the concise message, practice the delivery and then be prepared to deliver with authority, authenticity and humility. 30 years wrapped in 15 minutes, taking 9 months to craft for most effective impact.
Wouldn’t it be interesting if we could ask the Disciples and then Jesus a simple question, “what was your favorite part of your 3 years together?” Stay with me here as I take the liberty of conjecture. I can hear the disciples falling over one another to tell of one miracle after another. Of water into wine, of walking on water and laughing about Peter sinking. Of demons being reduced to drowning in pigs. Of a few fish and loaves of bread feeding 20,000+ (they only counted the men back then). I can hear them sharing of life’s purpose coming into focus as they left nowhere careers for the freeing of ministry and impact. I can hear them in my mind sounding like little children as they shared ‘their favorite moments and events.’
“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14 (NIV)
Then it would be Jesus’ turn to share his favorite part of the 3 years and I believe he would say, ‘today. Time. The walking and talking. The sharing of our hearts. Watching their hearts and minds move from measuring to sharing. Seeing achievement be defined in ways that please my Father. My favorite was and is the laughter that my hope delivers. My favorite is the blending of many different personalities and life experiences into a cause that transcends and denies what this World says is important. My favorite was the dust on our sandals, the stars we slept under, the food we shared and the simplicity of the sparrows call as we sat and ponder and sang and prayed. My favorite was the mundane and my favorite is the purpose.’
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31 (NIV)
So how do I draw comparison of grapefruit to a life fulfilled? Simple. The grapefruit if the reward. The gift to the preparer is the joy in watching it be eaten. The gift for the recipient is the love for the preparer and the fulfillment of the fruit. All delivered by a seed planted years before.
Take a look around today. You have one day less to delivered your unique love. You have been gifted one day more to say and show, “I love you.” Love is enough and genuine love exemplified through simple actions is too marvelously beautiful to adequately describe.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
Let’s go.
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“Don’t eat the chocolate.”
My only sadness is that I was the youngest in our family and had the least amount of experiences with my Western Kentucky family. My dad’s oldest brother, Benton, had settled in this area after he returned from WWII.
There were few vacations that our family enjoyed more in the early years than visiting Uncle Benton & Aunt Trilma and their family. I guess some of the ‘favorite’ stemmed from my dad never seeming more care free than those vacations. He would take on the role of the younger brother as we saw him idolize his older brother, who was a hero to my dad in so many ways.
Now my Aunt Trilma was a piece of work. (In all good and hilarious ways.). She was a feminist, independent and highly opinionated long before these were common terms and certainly well before they were accepted terms for a wife and mother. I think her three girls would tell you she was amazing on all levels, except maybe in mothering. (Insert laughter here.). Aunt Trilma was loud, brash, go-with-the-flow, quick to kiss your check so hard you thought she was turning your face inside out and man could she cook fish. Especially Crappie.
Our families would congregate and camp beside Kentucky Lake and water ski, fish, eat and laugh. Did I mention laughing? In the early trips, my mother would imprison me in a chicken wire holding cell, so I was safe from the water and not chasing my Aunt Lorraine around, biting her. Lore has it that you can still hear my Aunt Lorraine’s voice hollering, “don’t you bite me, Myron,” as the gentle waves of Kentucky Lake lap on the shore. I was a biter. Aunt Trilma was my rescuer. If she saw me in that unjust holding pen, she would always lift me out and turn me loose to bite again. All the while my mother saying, “Myron, how did you get out of there again,” as she heard Aunt Lorraine running and yelling ‘stop biting me.’ Ah, the circle of life at ‘ol Kentucky Lake in the 1960’s.
Now my Aunt Trilma’s father was Eli. And I don’t remember much about him, with one exception. He always had chocolate candy and was ready to share. If I saw Eli, I came running and he would break off one of those Hershey chocolate rectangular pieces for me to enjoy. And boy did I. There was only one problem. Those weren’t pieces from a Hershey bar, they were from an Ex-Lax laxative bar. And they worked!
My chocolate connection kept me quite “regular,” much to my mother’s angst as she dealt with her baby boy going through those cloth diapers like, well, water. I laugh as I write this because I can still see my mom turning around in her car seat as we got close to Uncle Benton’s, saying “Myron, don’t you eat any of Eli’s chocolate!”
I choose to believe that Eli did not intentionally conspire to release my innerds. Aunt Trilma on the other hand, conspired to release me. Aunt Lorraine and my mother colluded to corral me. The truth is, all loved me and we all loved those special days and weeks spent together. Descriptions would include fun, hot, laughter, hard work, love, wet, sweet, sweat, muddy, joy, exhaustion.
These trips were a life metaphor. To experience the beauty of life, you’ve got to accept those Ex-Lax moments. We all need to run at times to enjoy the peace and love in the chaos. Otherwise, there is no appreciation for those sacred moments of life’s gifts.
They’re all long gone to Heaven. Ex-Lax still remains an option for those bound up. Kentucky Lake is still churning out crappie and the smell of corn meal meeting hot oil still fills the air. It’s the journey. The stuff matters little. The promotions only satisfy for a moment. Time, precious time rewards those who soak in the beauty in the chaos of the moments. Next generations are on the hamster wheel, running as hard as they can toward the same, ultimate destination. Where we began.
“For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5 (NKJV)Don’t eat that chocolate!
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Myron Speaks 