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King for a Moment
Screenshot “And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” Mark 8:36 NLT
The insidiousness of pornography. The evil that knows no bounds nor recognizes power, position or economic status.
How is this possible, you ask? Jed York, the 46 year old owner of the San Francisco 49ers was recently arrested for solicitation of prostitution. For $140. In a trailer park in a seedy area outside Youngstown, Ohio. A man (a term I use grudgingly) worth over $500-million in a family having wealth exceeding $8.5-billion. Surrendering all for $140.
I would welcome talking with Mr. York and hearing his story of decline. Like so many pornography addicts, the start was innocent enough, I’m sure. Curiosity coupled with feelings of inadequacy in a family lavished in the finest things the World can offer. Raised in an environment where expectations were likely too high and pressure intense enough to mask the joy and beauty of what matters, many of us break. The difference between Jed and others, none. Yes, most of us were not surrounded by kingmakers who emphasized the rules don’t apply, being told the World is your oyster. Being trained that people and specifically women exist for your pleasure. ‘You, Jed York, are special and we will insulate you from the realities that are life’s greatest treasures; faith and family.’ Bunk!
To be fair, I know nothing of Mr. York’s value system. I know that he filed for divorce from his wife earlier this year in what I suspect involved her brokenness, asking ‘why she was not enough’ as she lost him to stress, porn/sexual addiction, dopamine release, isolation…and repeat. To his wife I would say, you lost your husband to an unseen foe who does its greatest work in isolation and overachievement, meant to mask the realities of the disease. To her I would say, he likely held on as long as he could because of you. To her I would encourage, he certainly felt that he did not deserve you and all the cruelty and failure aimed at you were the futile efforts of a man trapped in the mind of a little boy, grasping for anything to hold on to so that his addiction and failings would not be found out. To his wife and sons I would say, you lost to the Evil One, who works in ways to insidious for us to fully grasp.
To Jed, I would say “walk in to the freedom that transparency and honesty will deliver.” The secret is out and life goes on. Reclaim your identity as a man, a husband and the broken father that your two sons can learn so much from. This is not the end. Make this the beginning of something beautiful and something that matters. Jesus came to forgive our sins through grace and mercy that we can never earn nor deserve. Just ask. Now is the opportunity to reposition your life, focused on what matters and most importantly, who can benefit from your story.
The context of Mark 8 was Jesus telling his disciples to not be fooled or have wrong expectations of what was coming. They foresaw a king who would reposition on inequities of the World. He was a Savior who would deliver hope, forgiveness and eternity, through service and humility.
Jed, now is the greatest opportunity for impact that your life has ever been given. What Satan meant for evil can be your greatest good. Go for it.
And, by the way, I am praying for you and your family.
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How Long Will You Wait
I remember sitting in a conference room at a manufacturer in Shenzhen, China in 2002, making the comment, “we are seeing a trend in America,” to which the company’s representatives looked at each other as the translator delivered my words and chuckled with one another. When I asked why they chuckled, the General Manager replied through the translator; “In America, you identify a trend in terms of months. We are a 5000 year old culture and trends emerge after decades.” Mic drop!
One of the amazing things about helping people with their ideas is the gift of meeting incredibly tenacious and most times, patient and expectant people. I met the inventor of the Topsy Turvy Tomato planter. He lived in the same town, Knoxville, TN, that I did and had realized incredible sales and financial blessings when I met him. He shared that he had created the tomato planter system 8 years earlier and had wallowed in mediocrity and minimal sales. Then his product was featured on QVC and the rest as they say ‘is history.’ I was struck by Bill’s comment to me that he “was an overnight sensation. It just took him 8 years to be that overnight success story.’
I was asked to help a group bring a record album to market in non-conventional channels now close to 20 years ago. Through this I was gifted to meet Ret Gov Mike Huckabee and Songwriter/Singer Aaron Tippin. I was struck by Aaron’s story of remarkable success. He arrived in Nashville from South Carolina to be a mechanic for Eastern Airlines, the very weekend Eastern filed chapter 7 bankruptcy. Broke and no money to get back home to SC, Aaron did what so many had done and with his guitar, went to Broadway and sang. He was hoping to get enough money to be able to return home. While there, a hand grabbed his shoulder and a woman’s deep voice said “d’you write those songs?” He looked up and said “yes, Ms. Reba (McEntire), I did. Then after years of writing music for Ms. Reba, she said “Aaron, if you don’t get out there in front and sing, I am going to fire you.” Tough love. Aaron told me and would tell you that he owes Reba McEntire for everything he has accomplished.
I know the owner of a major music venue in Nashville. He told me about this amazing singer who played at his place almost every Thursday for 7 years. He said this guy was a prolific songwriter and had an unbelievable voice. When I asked why he was not signed with a major label and singing to sold out venues Worldwide, the simple answer was that ‘he did not fit the mold and look of the popular male singers of the day.’ But he sang and honed his craft in that music venue a few blocks east of Broadway in Nashville. In 2015, after 15 years of writing songs for other people and playing in those small venues with the same gift of voice and song, Christ Stapleton released his first album and the rest as they say “is history.”
We all love stories like this, of achievers who overcame time and rejection, toiling in anonymity, waiting for their chance. The Bible is filled with stories of people appointed by God to do incredible things. Joseph, sold into slavery by his brothers, spending 15 years as a servant and prisoner then in the course of a few minutes going from prisoner to the #2 leader in Egypt. Moses living for 40 years in Midian as he hid for having killed an Egyptian, then within weeks being in front of the most powerful man in the World, Pharaoh. Ultimately leading the Israelites out of 400 years of slavery. Sarah, 90 years old, was gifted with pregnancy and the birth of Isaac, and the greater birth of a mighty nation called Israel and the Jewish people. Isaac, a name meaning ‘laughter.’ God loves to hear us laugh.
So my question for you is, how long will you wait? You see, faith is in the waiting. Faith is rooted in core and unimpeachable belief. Jeremiah 1:5 tells us that God knew us before we were in our mother’s womb. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God has unique plans for us and his timing is likely not our timing.
I have been blessed in my lifetime to have met some amazing people. Some, assigned the title of ‘exceptional’ because of achievements we marvel at and truth be told, we may envy. Don’t! Others exceptional in the quiet approach to life that contributes to and enhances the life of all those around them. God’s definition of your exceptionalism is very likely different than yours. His is better.
So how long will you wait. The growth is in the waiting. Would you bask in the shadow of a 401K filled to the brim, or in the glow of a human that you instilled hope, joy, purpose and impact. If you have yet to realize the marvelous purposes of your life, they are right in front of you. Take another step. Walk into the purposes that you were assigned before you resided in your momma’s womb. You matter. Your contribution may never be famously known but it will most definitely be felt by those desperate for what you have to contribute.
Let’s go.
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Sink or Sail
Did you know the Titanic had a sister ship named the Olympic? The Olympic had stolen most of the press and accolades of the day by being the first to be launched. Her lavishness and modern amenities were mirrored by the Titanic. She was also injured, but she did not sink.
Odds are we would never know much about the Titanic nor her captain had they sailed safely in to New York harbor as planned.
The Titanic’s Captain, Edward Smith had the nickname “the Millionaires Captain” because of his status as the finest and highest paid ocean liner captain of the day. His 45 years of experience and 30+ years of exemplary service at White Star Lines caused him to be the natural choice to captain their most valued ships, the Olympic and Titanic.
We don’t hear about the collision of Titanic’s sister ship, the Olympic, after it was accidentally rammed by the naval ship the HMS Hawke. A collision that found the Olympic at fault because of speed and proximity management. It was going too fast and was too close, drawing the smaller Hawke in because of its massive wake and hydrodynamic suction effect.
Ironically, speed was one of the contributing factors found to have caused the Titanic’s collision with that massive iceberg on that still, cloudless night. In both collisions it was found that Captain Smith was operating the ships in what was considered normal patterns of speed and navigation. But, one collided and one sank.
Most of us remember that “miracle on the Hudson,” when Captain Chesley ‘Sully’ Sullenberger skillfully guided that injured airplane to safely land on the Hudson River. He immediately achieved incredible recognition and worldwide fame. He did so because of 30 years experience as a professional pilot and 42 years of overall flying as a teenager and military pilot. We could not get enough of Sully, all the while him saying that he did nothing different than he had done thousands of times before. This time is just counted a little more.
I often talk about how an exemplary life, marriage, profession or relationship can be destroyed in a split second. When we take our eyes off what is most critical in our lives, we open ourselves up to crushing failure. Today’s world highlights what is fast, flashy, exciting and what elicits envy. I am sure Captain Smith’s contemporaries were envious of him, until that fateful iceberg. I know that other airline pilots were in awe of Sully’s act of heroism as he landed his plane on the water, while all saying they would not want to trade places with him in that moment.
So my point is this, how you are remembered pales in comparison to how you handle the icebergs in your life. Our brains are wired to remember negative more than positive, so don’t sweat it when people are slow to applaud your accomplishments while quick to point out your failures. Knowing who you are is so much important than allowing the World to define you.
I believe this can be traced to what is called sinful nature. King David, the second king of Israel was awarded the title of ‘a man after God’s heart’ long before he became king, and long before he committed adultery with Bathsheba. There is no question that David was a flawed man, a mediocre father at best and a man swayed by those around him. Still, he was and is remembered as a man after God’s own heart because of his repentance and perpetual faithfulness, even after hitting massive icebergs during his life. He is remembered, rightfully so, for his lifetime’s body of work. His failures were but moments in decades of accomplishment.
The icebergs of life are sure to come, how will you handle the 75% that lies beneath the surface? Remember, the icebergs melt, the heart does not. Be steadfast in the face of shifting ideals and opinions. Be true to who you are.
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“The young know everything. The middle-aged suspect everything. The old believe everything.” Oscar Wilde
I had a reporter reach out to me and ask what I would say to someone who is older competing for jobs in today’s corporate environment.
My answer. “Experience is your greatest asset. Your ability to contribute experiential knowledge helps build the asset side of the company’s Balance Sheet. As you compete for the position, create within your interviewer and company a vision of what they are gifted when hiring you. Bring the focus to the seasoned professional, secure in who you are. Ready to contribute immediately without training and tenure. Highlight that you have raised your family, pursued the corporate ladder, experimented with various careers and now you sit before your interviewer a complete package of ability, experience and stability. Ready and able to harness your skills in this position without outside pressure or personal agenda. At 73 years old, Ronald Reagan famously said “he would not exploit his opponent’s youth and inexperience in the election,” as he ran against Walter Mondale who was 56 at the time. Reagan won 49 of 50 states with humor and experience that exuded confidence. Selling yourself as an asset of experience, stability, security and capability means turning what may be viewed as a liability into the vision of a more complete and capable package. Paint the picture. People are inherently not creative. Help the interviewer’s view of you.”
An interesting question with many lanes for answers. As a 62 year old guy, I choose to not surrender my position and the value that I bring because my experience contributes invaluable perspective and insight. I have read the Bible faithfully for 20+ years and find nothing about retirement and continue to lean in on the truth that my age is a much needed asset for those coming behind me and entering seasons of leadership.
I choose to segment life into three primary seasons (trimesters of life). Getting started and established in the first trimester. Building and leading in the second. And guiding and giving in the third. I’ll leave it to you to decide which season you are in and how you choose to approach each season. My point is this. You are in charge and your approach to each season of life can be as impactful or self gratifying as you choose.
Abraham was 100+ and his wife Sarah 90, when God gave them Isaac. Noah was 500 when he began the 100 year construction project of the Ark. Job was 70 when he lost everything and started over. Moses was 80 when he was appointed to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Joshua was 80+ when he took over for Moses. Ruth was 40+ when she had Obed, King David’s grandfather in a time when most mothers were in their late teens. Most young people love the verse, Jeremiah 29:11, until they learn that the plans being spoken of were 70 years in the future. My point is this, God’s timing is perfect and seldom aligns with our plans.
You are created for purpose. If you are older, you have been gifted these years to contribute to others coming behind you or walking alongside you. If you are in the third trimester of life, this is your greatest season of influence. Your greatest asset, emotional stability. Your calm in the face of storms being weathered by those who have not experienced these events, priceless. In the New Testament we are told the story of the disciples being terrified of drowning while crossing the Sea of Galilee and when they woke Jesus, he stood and commanded the storm to ‘be still.’ And it was.
Now I am not comparing any of us to Jesus, but do believe age and experience allow us to stand up and say: ‘I’ve been here. This too will pass.’ And then provide experiential context for how the situation will likely resolve itself. To the new parent, the rising manager, the struggling entrepreneur, the addict walking out of chemical dependency, the wife or husband facing life alone, the knowledge of those of us who have navigated these fires of life cannot be properly measured and likely need our willingness to offer them before the ‘ask.’
So the question begs, do you properly value yourself? I find that high achievers understand the value of what they contribute. I know without a doubt that the need for wisdom and guidance never retires. I believe that if we choose to remove ourself from the access of those coming behind us, we rob them of that which is exponentially valuable. Experience.
So ageism is real. And while adopted by many companies and in many areas of today’s culture, the need remains. There is no stopping point for selling ourselves. Equally, there is no limit beyond our own mindset to the value of what we deliver. I encourage you to love those in your life enough to justify perpetually contributing to all those in your path. They need you. Whether the know it or not.
Let’s go.
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Your Choice
What will you choose to do with past experiences, mistakes, guilt, shame? I love this verse and this picture’s message. The Apostle Paul wrote this Philippians while in prison. He had been one of the most severe persecutors of the early Christian Church. He chose to learn and use his past for the future of impact and purpose that his past life lessons had taught him. Why don’t you take control of your life and choose to use the incredible life experiences you have for purpose and impact? It is within you to do this! Start today.
“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
One last thing. Philippians is considered one of the most joyful books in the Bible. And its author (Paul) was in prison when he wrote it. Remember, your circumstances do not determine your outlook and impact. Be expectant. Be preparing. Be joyful. Be ready for the marvelous plans that your life is created to deliver to others. You matter.
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What Matters?
Joy and purpose revealed themselves to me in real and tangible ways when I began to see the value in what is most valuable, the people placed in my life’s path.
Peter Drucker, made the comment that people (employees) are any company’s greatest asset and should be listed on the Asset side of the Balance Sheet. Completely opposite of what accounting principles teach.
Approaching life and the people in your path with this valuation model, changes your priorities and deepens your impact. Free up your time for those who desperately need to be heard and matter.
You matter to so many.
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I am praying for Joe Biden.
“Former President Joe Biden’s prostate cancer has spread and is causing him significant pain, his son Hunter Biden revealed during a Friday interview.
“The cancer has spread, metastasized into his bones and further,” Hunter Biden told the BBC in an interview that aired Friday. “It’s very painful, and it’s very debilitating in many respects.”” Source BBC, August 2026
I am praying for the man. I lost a grandfather to cancer that had invaded his bones and dementia that had hijacked his mind. I remember his pain and struggle in those last days of life. I am praying for Joe Biden, the husband. The father. The brother. The uncle. The grandfather. I cannot reconcile any of my personal beliefs with Joe Biden’s supposed actions, but I can hold the hand of my fellow human and pray for his cancer to leave, his pain to subside and his imperiled mind to know that he is loved as an equal in God’s eyes, deserving of my love and prayer.
I think of the story of the messenger that delivers the news of King Saul and his son, Jonathan’s deaths to David. David first thanked him for bringing the news and crown of the king. Then after hearing that King Saul was mercifully killed by this messenger, at the King’s request, David had him killed for “killing the Lord’s anointed.” (2 Samuel 1).
Why the connection? Saul, and I believe Joe Biden, were assigned to lead and were drawn to the corruptive power of unchecked and manipulated leadership. King Saul choosing impatient, pride and fear that ultimately led him to a medium for guidance versus the immovable trust and faith in God, who placed him on the throne as Israel’s first king. Joe Biden had four decades of lackluster service as a servant in Congress, was chosen for Vice President because of his tenure and willingness to be whoever the president’s team wanted him to be, with the promise of promotion to the opportunity of President. The caveat, if he toed the line and message that I deeply believe he cognitively did not understand and if in a whole state of awareness, would have rejected.
The Bible says King Saul went mad. It can and has certainly been said that President Biden’s mind had left him while leading. In both cases, these men started for the right reasons and lost their way. God does not favor those he has assigned who choose self over service.
1 Timothy 2 is very clear that we should pray for and intercede for our leaders. The Bible does not give me the ‘out’ to only pray for those that I agree with, or hold in high esteem. This scripture tells me that “that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”
I desire a peaceful, godly, quiet life that is dignified in every way. I believe in the veracity of scripture and choose to trust through faith the only truth that comes from the single source of guidance without ulterior motive. God’s Word. The Bible.
So I pray for Joe Biden as he struggles with the horrible pain and degradation of cancer and mental decline. How frustrating it must be for a man entrusted with power to lead for 50 years. There is no question that hidden within the mask of a political pawn, the servant still abides. I pray that President Biden finds peace and comfort that only comes from one source, our Father in Heaven. I pray, Joe, that your pain recedes, your mind returns, your character returns, your values return, your faith is reconciled and in the later days of life, your family sees the mighty man of God that your were and are created to be.
Shalom.
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What’s the Problem?
Several years ago some well-meaning entrepreneurs approached me about helping them develop a pornography free online book seller, that would compete with Amazon for the minds and dollars of people and families desiring to not be subjected to pornographic material. Sounded reasonable and right enough.
There were several interesting dynamics at work. First, I was a porn addict who had yet to reveal my addiction, and only did because of my courageous, fierce and committed wife who was too precious in my eyes to lose. (A whole nother post.). Second, I was unaware that Amazon at the time was the largest seller of porn in the World. (They may still be. I don’t know.). And third, the question ‘was the targeted consumer aware that Amazon was the leading porn source?’
The answer to the third question was, “the Amazon user was likely not aware of the porn issue unless they had searched for porn on the site.
My entrepreneurial approach has always been to solve a problem, or jump on an evolving trend. Books were certainly not an evolving trend, so success depended on solving the porn problem that Amazon presented. The real problem with the purpose for the new concept was that the consumer did not know that Amazon was a purveyor of porn. So the strategy had to shift from problem resolution to a cause driven purpose. Extremely difficult to do because cause-based marketing is very costly to present and response even more costly to elicit.
So, my question to the good people launching this effort was “how much money do you have to lose?” Harsh! The point was, don’t do this because the behemoth that you are going after has a very favorable consumer perception. And perception versus reality is very challenging to move. They chose to move forward with millions of dollars committed. I gave them 24 months. They proved me wrong and lasted close to 25.
The value of outside eyes is often not in the wisdom or incremental things that they add. The value is usually within the clarity in which they see what is presented. A common statement involving personal or business analysis is ‘you’re too close.’ Expanded this means the person or team who has created the concept has an emotional attachment to the project that may be overriding the flaws or unidentified challenges to the plan.
Unfortunately the business concept did not succeed. Even more unfortunate is that a simple change in strategy of moving from the frontline brand to the technology imbedded in already existing, very large organizations likely would have resulted in phenomenal success. This shift would have addressed the underlying issue of porn accessibility to their targeted consumer. A consumer base that would have rallied to the ‘cause.’ A preexisting consumer base that would have addressed the issue of prohibitive customer acquisition cost and maximized mutual values.
Blind belief in a concept can be dangerous. Commitment to a concept is critical to success. Terms like unwavering or immovable can be deadly to a new endeavor. Agility and flexibility in the early stages of any venture are critical to increasing the probability of success.
I often encourage startups to function as a speedboat in a world of ocean liners. It takes an ocean liner as much as two miles to do a 180-degree turn in the ocean. A speed boat, 50 feet. Your new business’s competitive edge may not be in the concept, but in its ability to adjust paths quickly to better align with the targeted market. Be a yoga business. Stretch. Pause. Examine. Move. Begin again.
So this particular endeavor did not die because of market opportunity. It ended because of inability to connect with the market who would respond to the purpose. A simple shift in alignment would have achieved the desired impact. Alignment can be a frustrating thing, can’t it?
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Time Value of People
It is not a question of whether or not our time on earth is short. The question is what are you doing to maximize the impact of your life in others during this short stopover? “12 Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.” Psalm 90:12 NLT. If tomorrow never comes, make today count.
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I got ya.
We’re entering a time period where there is very real risk of the emergence of the most cynical generation(s) in history. We have witnessed truth become a possessive determiner of ‘my truth.’ The undeniable traits of gender and genetics now a political football. All for the purpose of manipulation for votes and misunderstood ‘power.’ Now, as Ai consumes our intrigue, the cliche “who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?,” takes on a whole new meaning.
I was recently talking with someone about the impact of Ai. The benefits are marvelous, the impact TBD. My wife and kids have found my inability to identify Ai versus actual quite hilarious. Then in the same comment, they concede that Ai is developing so quickly that the real and the generated are becoming difficult to distinguish.
There is opportunity for human relationship here. This next step in technology lays bare the real need for human connection. We need genuineness. We need authenticity. We need a backstop of ‘I’ve got ya’ versus the social norms of today that say, ‘gotcha!’ This is the ultimate risk versus reward scenario as we risk rejection by offering ourselves to others. The reward so sweet and the impact for generations.
I really believe that there has never been a greater opportunity in human history to step up and be the ‘got ya’ in people’s lives. Got ya requires authenticity. Got ya involves the risk of rejection. Got ya means investment of time, energy, resources and heart. Got ya leadership is now required input versus an optional approach. Got ya removes the questions and the dubious.
1 Corinthians 13:13 says “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” NLT
We are in the time where love is the option to offset the cynicism of what is seen and heard. Leadership moving forward will be measured in terms of authenticity. Authenticity validated through transparency. Transparency the differentiator between what is truth and what is generated for purposes of appeasement.
I got ya.
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