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What’s the Problem?
Several years ago some well-meaning entrepreneurs approached me about helping them develop a pornography free online book seller, that would compete with Amazon for the minds and dollars of people and families desiring to not be subjected to pornographic material. Sounded reasonable and right enough.
There were several interesting dynamics at work. First, I was a porn addict who had yet to reveal my addiction, and only did because of my courageous, fierce and committed wife who was too precious in my eyes to lose. (A whole nother post.). Second, I was unaware that Amazon at the time was the largest seller of porn in the World. (They may still be. I don’t know.). And third, the question ‘was the targeted consumer aware that Amazon was the leading porn source?’
The answer to the third question was, “the Amazon user was likely not aware of the porn issue unless they had searched for porn on the site.
My entrepreneurial approach has always been to solve a problem, or jump on an evolving trend. Books were certainly not an evolving trend, so success depended on solving the porn problem that Amazon presented. The real problem with the purpose for the new concept was that the consumer did not know that Amazon was a purveyor of porn. So the strategy had to shift from problem resolution to a cause driven purpose. Extremely difficult to do because cause-based marketing is very costly to present and response even more costly to elicit.
So, my question to the good people launching this effort was “how much money do you have to lose?” Harsh! The point was, don’t do this because the behemoth that you are going after has a very favorable consumer perception. And perception versus reality is very challenging to move. They chose to move forward with millions of dollars committed. I gave them 24 months. They proved me wrong and lasted close to 25.
The value of outside eyes is often not in the wisdom or incremental things that they add. The value is usually within the clarity in which they see what is presented. A common statement involving personal or business analysis is ‘you’re too close.’ Expanded this means the person or team who has created the concept has an emotional attachment to the project that may be overriding the flaws or unidentified challenges to the plan.
Unfortunately the business concept did not succeed. Even more unfortunate is that a simple change in strategy of moving from the frontline brand to the technology imbedded in already existing, very large organizations likely would have resulted in phenomenal success. This shift would have addressed the underlying issue of porn accessibility to their targeted consumer. A consumer base that would have rallied to the ‘cause.’ A preexisting consumer base that would have addressed the issue of prohibitive customer acquisition cost and maximized mutual values.
Blind belief in a concept can be dangerous. Commitment to a concept is critical to success. Terms like unwavering or immovable can be deadly to a new endeavor. Agility and flexibility in the early stages of any venture are critical to increasing the probability of success.
I often encourage startups to function as a speedboat in a world of ocean liners. It takes an ocean liner as much as two miles to do a 180-degree turn in the ocean. A speed boat, 50 feet. Your new business’s competitive edge may not be in the concept, but in its ability to adjust paths quickly to better align with the targeted market. Be a yoga business. Stretch. Pause. Examine. Move. Begin again.
So this particular endeavor did not die because of market opportunity. It ended because of inability to connect with the market who would respond to the purpose. A simple shift in alignment would have achieved the desired impact. Alignment can be a frustrating thing, can’t it?
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Time Value of People
It is not a question of whether or not our time on earth is short. The question is what are you doing to maximize the impact of your life in others during this short stopover? “12 Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.” Psalm 90:12 NLT. If tomorrow never comes, make today count.
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I got ya.
We’re entering a time period where there is very real risk of the emergence of the most cynical generation(s) in history. We have witnessed truth become a possessive determiner of ‘my truth.’ The undeniable traits of gender and genetics now a political football. All for the purpose of manipulation for votes and misunderstood ‘power.’ Now, as Ai consumes our intrigue, the cliche “who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?,” takes on a whole new meaning.
I was recently talking with someone about the impact of Ai. The benefits are marvelous, the impact TBD. My wife and kids have found my inability to identify Ai versus actual quite hilarious. Then in the same comment, they concede that Ai is developing so quickly that the real and the generated are becoming difficult to distinguish.
There is opportunity for human relationship here. This next step in technology lays bare the real need for human connection. We need genuineness. We need authenticity. We need a backstop of ‘I’ve got ya’ versus the social norms of today that say, ‘gotcha!’ This is the ultimate risk versus reward scenario as we risk rejection by offering ourselves to others. The reward so sweet and the impact for generations.
I really believe that there has never been a greater opportunity in human history to step up and be the ‘got ya’ in people’s lives. Got ya requires authenticity. Got ya involves the risk of rejection. Got ya means investment of time, energy, resources and heart. Got ya leadership is now required input versus an optional approach. Got ya removes the questions and the dubious.
1 Corinthians 13:13 says “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” NLT
We are in the time where love is the option to offset the cynicism of what is seen and heard. Leadership moving forward will be measured in terms of authenticity. Authenticity validated through transparency. Transparency the differentiator between what is truth and what is generated for purposes of appeasement.
I got ya.
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The Hype of Help
Screenshot HE GOT FULL CUSTODY OF HIS 4 KIDS! And he needs our help. (The attached picture is communication with him from 7-16-26)
After you read this, if you would like to help this good man, please Message me or Megan and we can give you details. Thank you 🙏.
This is a miracle that only the King of all kings could deliver!
This has been a tough week for Fight Club Men and at the same time a marvelous week of victory for Fight Club Men. We had to make the apparent decision to end the FCM Leaders House because of a loss of committed support. At the same time, we end the season of the house with yet another amazing life victory for a man who the World had written off decades ago.
His story is what best-selling books and movies are made of. His story is his story. Private. Painful. Filled with failure. Rising to one of the national leaders of a notoriously violent gang. A murdered bother. Siblings incarcerated and “in the system” because of a loss of parents to crime and drugs. Years of his life lost to incarceration. All leading to a man of experience and incredible character.
He is a Fight Club Men alumni and he always will be. A life surrender to Jesus. A man baptized before a church congregation, attesting to the new life that he had already entered into without the church knowing how dangerous it was for his public decision. Because of the bounty on his head by a gang that does not ‘give back’ their members. A life so precariously at risk from human hands that he had to flea when a simple traffic stop for a faulty turn signal, put his information back into circulation and alerted his would-be assassins. Coming from the life that I come from, these truths were and are so hard to comprehend.
While all of this was going on, we stayed in touch. We prayed. We laughed. We cried. We worked with CPS to rescue his kids from a drug surrounded life. It took years. It took silence and quiet, behind the scenes work. He never wavered. He established a new life. Working hard refinishing floors and remodeling homes. He became involved and is involved in a new church, becoming part of their worship team. Did I mention he has a beautiful voice and is a gifted composer of rap music? Not my thing, but his rap lyrics glorify God and appeal to kids desperate for hope.
Fight Club Men has functioned quietly because a large part of our purpose is to restore the dignity of the men whose dignity was stripped by a life of addicted decisions. And yes, a large part of restoring dignity is teaching men to accept responsibility for past actions AND recognizing that their past does not define their future. We taught and teach that only God can and has defined them. And that is more than enough.
I recall a few years ago that a couple that had been missionaries for 38 years in a far away land, wrote an article asking for help not hype. And they were stripped of their life’s work. The context of the article was that people wanted to come spend a week ‘helping,’ but their 38 years had shown them that the ‘help’ often involved the hype of photo ops and side exploration that detracted from the work. They humbly wrote, please send money to help and only come if you’re okay with no photos, no social media posts or self-adulation. Their point was, this is God-assigned work that is hard, dirty, often lonely, and about the people being shepherded. Their experiential comments and honesty cost them dearly. More importantly was the costs to the very people they had surrendered a lifetime to walk alongside.
The weaponization of money is hard. I remember a man that I admired once saying to me and a group he was supporting, “You know the Golden Rule. He with the gold, rules!” I was horrified by this. I wonder how he is doing because there was no longer room for him in my life.
So this good man has his four (4) children. And he learned what being a father, the value of family and faith, and the requirements of character that responsibility involves. And he is living these life lessons, learned quietly and without hype.
I am so grateful that God has gifted Megan and I with these years and the dozens of men who came through the house. FCM continues to help men and families dealing with pornography addiction and other addictions, and spreading the truth of a life too good to imagine without complete and utter surrender to God.
By now, many of you who read my ramblings know that I love 1 Kings 19 and Elijah experiencing the incredible and terrifying beauty of God’s silence as he passed by after the storms. The work God assigns has eternal implications and seldom involves shout-outs or social media ‘Likes.’
“The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.
After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 1 Kings 19:11-13 NIV
Let’s go. The work is hard and the hype distracting.
Again, if you would like to help this good man and his 4 kids, please message me or Megan. Thank you.
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The surgeon should know the procedure before the operation.
Why am I such an encourager of reading the Bible and seeking understanding of applying this to my life, and you to your life? Because I was born with a sinful nature already abiding within me. Because I exist in a community comprised of equally broken and equally loved, sinful human beings. Because Satan wants to confuse me into believing that I am alright alone, without need of Jesus and the hope that comes through reading and knowing the Bible. Because John 1:1 tells me that ‘in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.’ Because without the guidepost that is the Bible, I will fall for false teachings, social nuances, contemporary ideas that subtly erode truth. Because without scripture, I am a sheep just waiting to be slaughtered by a segment of the World designed to mislead and destroy.
“So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” James 1:21-25 (NLT)
Why am I writing this and sharing? Simply to encourage you to be prepared. When a trauma situation arises that requires surgery to save the life of someone that I know or love, I want a Dr. who has prepared and knows the procedure for restoring health inside and out. I want the team of Dr’s and nurses who are prepared. Who are ready. Who are up to the challenge. Who have met the rigors of study, practice, review and redo over and over. I want the team that are masters of their craft in knowledge and in practice.
If you profess the name of Jesus Christ and claim to be his child, you have a target on your back. Targets can be great and can create great risk. The choice is yours as to what type of target you are. Are you being targeted like a lighthouse that shows the way in the darkness of hope and despair? Or, are you the clanging cymbal described in 1 Corinthians 13 that invites attack without preparation of heart and mind to fend off the attacks sure to come. The lighthouse was built on a foundation that protects it against the pounding surf when the sea rages. Similarly, a life with the foundation and knowledge of scripture is immune to the attacks certain to come from a sinful and broken World. Equally, the noise of a cymbal desiring to bespeak hope, love and truth without knowledge to defend, is easily quieted by a heavy hand clamping down on the vibration the instrument makes. The noise of the message quelled by exposing its inability to withstand the assault against truth.
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
— Thomas Edison
There is an old and true saying by Roman philosopher Seneca that states “luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” Know without any question that you will be presented with the opportunity to share the hope that is Jesus and the truth that is the Bible in your lifetime. In fact, you will likely have that opportunity this week or even today. Accept the responsibility that is being a child of God. That responsibility being to provide those in your life’s path with the understanding and knowledge as the King’s child that presents the opportunity of an eternal lifetime.
Let’s go.
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When tomorrow doesn’t come.
“Myron, I went to bed a young man and woke up an old man.”
“How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” James 4:14 NLT
I have written these profoundly telling words that my dad said to me before because there is so much truth in their simple message. Our days and minutes are numbered and known only by the One who created us.
As Lindsey Graham was traveling back from yet another foreign relations trip serving his Country, I wonder if he reviewed his calendar for the upcoming week or pondered his life’s impact? Did he know that less than 24 hours later he would be remembered and his life’s impact measured as he was memorialized? I can assure you this, he would not have been surprised or angered by the shameful celebrations of his death being spewed by numerous media outlets and social media threads. I believe he would simply say, “this is the reward for living a life of committed beliefs and passionate pursuit of protecting those beliefs.”
I recently shared with someone that I was on a Zoom call with that I struggle with mediocrity and a ‘dip your toe in the water’ life approach. I love passion and appreciate misguided energy more than measured, half-hearted effort. Why? Because our days are numbered and our opportunity to influence can only be assumed to be this day, this hour, this minute.
My wife’s father suddenly passed away while he spoke to her as a 13 year old little girl, the day before she was to start high school. He was gone in a second. The remarkable thing about Ed West’s life was the influence, the passion, the legacy that continues to live within his daughter and son and his seven grandchildren who feel they know him 30 years later. He sewed seeds in his short life that continue to yield fruit today.
Please know without a doubt that your days are numbered. As are mine. Joy and hope are so needed and free to be shown and given. Passion of purpose is irrepressible. Influence requires no wealth or thousands of social media followers. Impact simply requires a willingness to reach out and say, ‘you matter.’ A life well lived is measured by its passionate approach, limitless love, joy emitted, precious time given and most of all, faith that leads to eternal life offered. All free. All priceless.
What if you considered taking the reins of your life today and simply say, “everything that I have allowed to limit me, I now choose to use as the fuel that drives my life?” Life’s experiences will lead us one of two ways; lessons that cause us to overcome or trauma that limits our life’s potential. You have within you the power to change a life.
Let’s go.
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Cucumbers in the Bushes
I have been a prolific blackberry picker for the past ten years. An unseen gift that Trinity has delivered year after year. I invite many people to join me in the bushes, but none do. There are a litany of reasons why the enthusiasm gives way to reasons why not. The most common is the fear of snakes.Enthusiasm is often stifled by the reasoning born from unreasonable fear.
Now I have spent literally hundreds of hours in blackberry bushes over the last decade. Getting up early and picking for a couple of hours before the day gets rolling. The result? Hundreds of jars of Megan’s blackberry jam, given to friends and sold to the community. Dozens of blackberry cobblers. Fresh blackberries in yogurt. And delighted faces when a container of fresh blackberries are gifted.
Unrestrained gratitude is the perfect offset to unreasonable fear.
Two years ago I was talking with someone who told me what I have never heard or known. That a copperhead snake emits an odor that smells like a cucumber when they feel threatened and if you smell that while in the bushes, you know there is a copperhead nearby. Fascinating!
Avoidance often enforces the unreasonable fear that prevents us from achieving what we are capable of.
The marvelous brain can be the source of being misled. The very next day after I was enlightened about the smell of cucumber, I was picking blackberries and suddenly smelled cucumber. Delighted that I knew what this smell was, I carefully backed out of that area and picked elsewhere. Leaving thousands of ripe and large blackberries to rot because the picker was ‘educated.’ I wasn’t.
‘Trust, but verify.’ President Ronald Reagan said these profound words. In Myron Mullins simple man terms, do your own research.
I recall feeling very silly and frankly robbed of a perfect picking morning because I had succumbed to the irrational fear of a snake, that is much, much more afraid of and threatened by me that I am of it. So, when I returned to the “safety” of our home from the dangers and wilds of our property, I did a simple Google search about copperheads and cucumbers. What I quickly learned was this is an old wives tale and a copperhead will emit a musky smell from their tale that typically smells skunks, sour or strongly musty. They stink!
Unreasonable fear is empowered by a brain that delivers physical, cognitive and avoidance responses. Left unchecked, “avoiding the feared object provides temporary relief, but it reinforces the brain’s belief that the fear was justified, making the phobia stronger next time.” (Very Well Mind)
I continue to become more acutely aware of the power of choice. The freeing power of choosing ability over doubt. The opportunity for an abundant life that choices based upon reason will deliver. Too many of us are conditioned at a young age with comments like “don’t get hurt,” meant as loving caution but cognitively conditioning us to avoid risk and by default, reward.
My encouragement is this. Don’t fear failure or risk. Fear the conditioning that results in your choosing to succumb to unreasonable fear. Choose a life of impact and contribution that rejects the notion of crippling doubt and walks into the acceptance that you are created for marvelous things because of the abilities that you have been gifted. Your gifts are unique to you. There is a world desperately awaiting you to overcome the life limiting, unreasonable fear that prevents you from delivering the life enhancing contributions your choices will release.
I have learned much more from failure than success. Others have benefitted much more from my failures than my successes. Failures are the great lessons that a life choosing risk frees.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas Edison
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Don’t Miss Miracles
Yesterday I witnessed a miracle more beautiful than my inadequate mind can properly describe. But I will try.
I watched a Fight Club Men alumni walk into church with his daughter holding his and his beautiful fiancées hands. I watched a man that the World had written off years ago, lead his daughter and his future wife, his family, into church to worship. I witnessed a miracle.
You see I met this good man and his brother when they were trapped in the prison of drug addiction and prison rotation. This man had decided that addiction defined him and prison deserved him, and he deserved prison and addiction. He was a man who made others feel better about themselves.
This man made a choice several years ago to begin the long walk into the life that God had created him to live. He chose courage over classification. He chose the vision of his identity that he needed others to help him see. He chose faith, trust and hope. It is hard to be hopeful when life seems hopeless. If you could know this amazing man, even in his deepest highs on drugs, in his lowest lows of life, in the moment of accountability that sent him back to prison on his birthday after a celebration lunch and a year of being clean, faith and hope remained.
So began several months of phone calls coming from prison. As I/we accepted those calls and prepared to offer hope and in ways only God can orchestrate, this good man would pour into me from prison. “I am staying clean.” “I am reading my Bible.” “These guys are asking me why I am so hopeful and reading my Bible. “Myron, isn’t God amazing that he has placed me here to grow my faith and teach me how to witness to other people…like me.” Yes, God you are too amazing for me to comprehend or understand, so I choose faith and hope, shown to me yesterday by this good man walking his family into church this morning.
Then, on the day he was being released from jail, literally as Megan and I were leaving to go pick him up and bring his home, the call came. “Myron, another county has put a release hold on me because I have outstanding warrants there.” Devastating words, to someone who has not been exhausted by a life of running. “Myron, I should only be there for a month or so. Isn’t it awesome that when I walk out from there, I don’t have to run anymore?” Wow! Do you see the faith lesson here. We can surrender and release ourselves from the running and walk into the peace of purpose and opportunity. Wow!
I hope you have stayed with me because there’s more. We welcomed him back to the Fight Club Men Leaders House, but things were different. He was a man on fire with purpose. Attending and then leading at addiction recovery groups. Immersing himself in Bible studies. Diving in to church attendance and volunteering. Encouraging the men of FCM and all whose paths he crossed. He valued every day and placed value on everyone who crossed his path.
Then, he allowed himself to dream. He allowed himself to believe that God had so much more for him. He envisioned a wife and partner who would walk hand-in-hand with him through the seasons of life. He called me one day and said “Myron, I met this girl and she is different.” And like an overprotective father I quickly said, ‘you’re lonely. Satan knows this. Be careful. Take your time.’ But he wasn’t lonely, he was filled with a life defining relationship with Jesus and this girl (amazing woman) was God’s sweet gift to him and him to her, that he had been praying for for years, believing she would come. She is a beautiful gift to him. His greatest defender and his loudest believer and most staunch encourager in the man that he is.
Then the journey to connecting with his daughter began. A beautiful little girl who Megan and I had the absolute privilege of meeting yesterday. A little girl brought into this World through a broken relationship, created by a loving God who knew her before time began. She is marvelous and this good man beamed with joy and reflected a heart filled with joy and determination to be the ‘dad’ that she deserved.
The miracle that I observed was the result of tenacity to fight a court system that works against fathers. And sadly let me add that this system is the result of fathers who have shirked and surrendered their responsibilities and role in children’s lives. But hope remains. Years or working through amazing probation officers, incredible DCS advocates, court hearings and tears of frustration that became a flood of joy and love. He is now connecting with her. Awarded weekends and more and more time. These precious moments and hours so worth the days, months and years of prayer and process.
Then it dawned on me as I watched her little hand slip into the safety of his fiancee’s hand, God knew his daughter would need a loving, strong and gentle woman in his life when the reconnection happened. His little girl clings to the same woman that he clings to as his future wife clings to him. God’s timing can be so frustrating but his gifts and rewards are always perfect.
I witnessed a miracle that walked by hundreds of people who simply saw a man, a woman and a little girl coming to church. If only they knew. I wonder how many miracles I walk by every day? I know that I won’t know if I don’t take the risk of allowing people into my life and accepting the complexities of relationship. I know that God knows who I need to know. I know that I have love, faith, hope, joy to offer. I love that God gifts me relationships with good men like him and in doing so stretches and grows me in ways too marvelous to envision.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 KJV
Yesterday I witnessed a miracle. I approach today with eyes wide open.
Let’s go.
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Grateful to be an American
On this 250th anniversary of America’s establishment, I am so, so genuinely grateful to be an American. I am humbled that God chose and allowed me to be an American. I am thankful for what being an American means for me.
“But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly. When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” Luke 12:48 NLT
I approach being an American with a recognition that I have been entrusted with much and a responsibility to give forward. To give hope. To give recognition. To give patience. To give encouragement. To give insight from experience. To give foresight from experience. To give joy freely and generously. To give my time. To give my heart. To give love. These are the attributes that being allowed to be an American have been given to me.
You see, I did not earn the right to be an American. My great grandfather who died in the line of duty as a U.S. Marshall paid for my right to be an American. My Uncle Benton who courageously led his platoon on those beaches of D-day, losing fingers to free those he was responsible paid for my right to be an American. My wife’s grandfather who was apart of the horrid Bataan Death March in the Philippines where so many died, paid for my right to be an American. My grandmother who prayed her sons back from WWII and the Korean War paid for my right. My father and mother who sacrificed so many of life’s luxuries paid for my right and would tell you that they ‘did not sacrifice at all.’
Today I am enormously grateful and humbly thankful. I caution against being too proud because of the insidiousness of pride. Pride causes us to believe we are entitled. We are not. Pride causes us to place ourselves at a higher level of importance than others. We are not. Pride can be used as a tool to justify sin and sinful living, leaving one to believe that some sin is okay. It is not. Proverbs 16:18 teaches us that “ Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” ESV
We have so much to be thankful for. We have so much to be grateful for. We have so much to be responsible for. We have so much work to do in this short time that we are allowed to be Americans.
My prayer this 250th birthday celebration is that we will grasp the enormity of our gift and responsibility to zealously protect what we have been given. It was not free. Nothing worthwhile is free. Being an American is not free, but it is so freeing.
Happy Birthday America. I am thankful for you.
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Look Out!
If you would have told me 15 years ago that I would walk alongside people dealing with addiction and self-worth struggles, I would have chuckled and inwardly thought, ‘not happening.’
You see, I was so busy dealing with the destruction that my own addiction to pornography had wreaked, I could not conceive of an outwardly focused life giving to others. The truth is, real victory and growth only occurred when I moved from the cyclical trap of mirror, memory, guilt, shame and work to earn forgiveness. Real victory came when the man in the mirror chose to see the beauty in the brokenness that was all around me. Real victory came when the addicted narcissist decided to be the experienced hope agent that God had crafted me to be. Roman’s 8:35-39.
I am in no way suggesting that the trauma that has resulted in where most of us are today be ignored. Not at all. But I will suggest that choosing to empower our life by turning the inwardly crippling trauma to outward hope for those dealing with similar life issues is oh so empowering.
What I have found is allowing a vision of a future to replace the memory of past defeat creates in us purpose and purpose is the fuel that drives us forward into the plans that our Creator has for each of us. I have seen lifetime addictions left on the trash heap of the past when changed from defeat to experience and experience freely shared to the community around us.
So today, practice the thought that you are made for purpose. Then acknowledge the value of every human that crosses your path. When you see the person equal to you, in front of you, a world of beauty and a heart of joy emerges. You cannot discount what you place value upon. Be a value builder today.
Let’s go.
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Myron Speaks 