“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” Mark 8:36 NLT

The insidiousness of pornography. The evil that knows no bounds nor recognizes power, position or economic status.

How is this possible, you ask? Jed York, the 46 year old owner of the San Francisco 49ers was recently arrested for solicitation of prostitution. For $140. In a trailer park in a seedy area outside Youngstown, Ohio. A man (a term I use grudgingly) worth over $500-million in a family having wealth exceeding $8.5-billion. Surrendering all for $140.

I would welcome talking with Mr. York and hearing his story of decline. Like so many pornography addicts, the start was innocent enough, I’m sure. Curiosity coupled with feelings of inadequacy in a family lavished in the finest things the World can offer. Raised in an environment where expectations were likely too high and pressure intense enough to mask the joy and beauty of what matters, many of us break. The difference between Jed and others, none. Yes, most of us were not surrounded by kingmakers who emphasized the rules don’t apply, being told the World is your oyster. Being trained that people and specifically women exist for your pleasure. ‘You, Jed York, are special and we will insulate you from the realities that are life’s greatest treasures; faith and family.’ Bunk!

To be fair, I know nothing of Mr. York’s value system. I know that he filed for divorce from his wife earlier this year in what I suspect involved her brokenness, asking ‘why she was not enough’ as she lost him to stress, porn/sexual addiction, dopamine release, isolation…and repeat. To his wife I would say, you lost your husband to an unseen foe who does its greatest work in isolation and overachievement, meant to mask the realities of the disease. To her I would say, he likely held on as long as he could because of you. To her I would encourage, he certainly felt that he did not deserve you and all the cruelty and failure aimed at you were the futile efforts of a man trapped in the mind of a little boy, grasping for anything to hold on to so that his addiction and failings would not be found out. To his wife and sons I would say, you lost to the Evil One, who works in ways to insidious for us to fully grasp.

To Jed, I would say “walk in to the freedom that transparency and honesty will deliver.” The secret is out and life goes on. Reclaim your identity as a man, a husband and the broken father that your two sons can learn so much from. This is not the end. Make this the beginning of something beautiful and something that matters. Jesus came to forgive our sins through grace and mercy that we can never earn nor deserve. Just ask. Now is the opportunity to reposition your life, focused on what matters and most importantly, who can benefit from your story.

The context of Mark 8 was Jesus telling his disciples to not be fooled or have wrong expectations of what was coming. They foresaw a king who would reposition on inequities of the World. He was a Savior who would deliver hope, forgiveness and eternity, through service and humility.

Jed, now is the greatest opportunity for impact that your life has ever been given. What Satan meant for evil can be your greatest good. Go for it.

And, by the way, I am praying for you and your family.